n ARE MY FEELINGS NORMAL? WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THEM? Hearing that your child has cancer is shocking and overwhelming. At first, parents may feel numb and have a hard time believing the diagnosis. Most families find they cannot process all of the information the healthcare team is providing. It is important to know that these feelings are normal and are to be expected. Many family members feel that they are somehow responsible for their child’s disease, or they feel guilty that they were not able to protect their child from this illness or detect it sooner. This disease was not caused or triggered by anything you or anyone did to your child. Initially, leukemia can cause symptoms that are vague or similar to other common illnesses. It may have taken awhile before the diagnosis was made. This is very common. In addition to the shock and guilt, you and your family may feel anger and sadness. These feelings are normal, and you can expect each family member to express these emotions in different ways and at different times. Talking honestly with each other about feelings, reactions, and questions will help everyone in the family. It may seem difficult to talk to friends, family, or even the healthcare team, but venting your feelings can help you cope. Your child will benefit if family members continue to show they care through support and communication. HOW CAN I HELP MY CHILD? As a parent, you will notice various changes in your child during treatment. These changes or symptoms can make you feel even more helpless. These changes may be because of the leukemia itself or the treatments that follow. Some changes in body appearance and function, such as hair loss, can be temporary; others can be permanent. Additional issues, such as difficulty walking may require therapy and may take some time to improve. All of your feelings about the things your child is going through during treatment must be balanced by remembering that treatment provides an opportunity to cure the disease and allow your child to go on to live a full, meaningful, and productive life. It is important to reinforce to your child that nothing he or she did or said caused this condition. Likewise, tell
your child that your anger or sad feelings are directed at the disease and not at him or her; this honest approach will help keep your relationship close. Like you, your child will need to share
feelings with someone whom he or she can trust. Don’t be afraid to ask your child to express his or her feelings, and don’t be afraid to explain what is happening and why. Despite the existence of your child’s disease, he or she is still learning and growing. All children, both sick and well, need love, attention, discipline, limits, and the opportunity to try out new skills
and activities. As you begin to learn about your child’s new needs, it is important to remember that he or she still has all the rights of any growing, developing child. Do not avoid using direct terms and explanations. Children will tolerate treatment better if they understand it and are allowed to be active decision makers whenever possible. The same is true for parents.
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