The important thing is that you are here now and are ready to begin the treatment to make your child better. In addition to shock and guilt, you and your family may feel angry and sad. Even the youngest members of your family may be affected by this illness. Feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shock are all normal. Each member of your family will express these feelings in different ways and at different times. It can be difficult to feel so many strong emotions at once. Talking honestly with each other about feelings, reactions, and questions will help everyone in the family. It may seem difficult to talk to friends, family, or even the healthcare team, but sharing your feelings can help you cope with the situation. Remember that your child will benefit if family members continue to show that they care by being supportive and communicating openly. If your friends and family give you information that seems to conflict with what your child’s healthcare team has told you, be sure to talk to your child’s healthcare team to clear up any confusion. n HOW CAN I HELP MY CHILD? As a parent, you will often notice changes in your child during treatment that can make you feel even more helpless. It is important to remember always that your child is still the same person on the inside, despite any changes on the outside. Hair loss and other changes in body appearance are temporary and often bother adults much more than they bother your child or your child’s siblings and friends. All of your feelings about what your child is going through during treatment must be balanced by remembering that the treatment provides an opportunity to cure the disease and to have your child go on to live a normal and meaningful life. It is important to reinforce to your child that nothing he or she did caused this disease. Tell your child that your angry or sad feelings are directed at the disease and not at him or her. This will help maintain honesty and closeness in your relationship. Like you, your child will need someone with whom he or she can share feelings. Don’t hesitate to ask your child to express his or her feelings. Explain, in age-appropriate terms, what is happening and why. Do not avoid using direct terms and explanations with your child. Children tolerate treatment better if they understand it and are allowed to be active decision makers whenever possible. The same is true for parents. As you begin to learn the new, special needs of your child, it is important to remember that he or she is still a normal child and is still growing and developing. All children—both sick and well—need love, attention, discipline, limits, and the opportunity to learn new skills and try new activities that are age appropriate.
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